Why is all this happening to me??

sorry i didn’t updated my blog for a long time.. just asking around some questions and all that.. today i just finished my f3 and thought it would be a wonderful and happy day.. after exam i and few of my friends went to Jennie house to play wii.. we didn’t even had our lunch and off we go.. i really thought it would be a happy day..

actually last week during my moral studies i got a sms from my mum telling me that urgent.. wanted me to call her fast.. i went out the class pray and hoping it wasn’t any bad new.. *thunder strike* my mum got my letter from the ACCA which telling me that my application to ACCA got rejected.. i was stunned hoping that it was just a dream.. i quickly ask my mum to postlaju me the letter and my original cert which my dad went to collect the same day also..

i told my friends and even my dear.. but all they can do was just to console me and accompany me.. thanks you all.. i really appreciate it.. i went on with my moral studies hoping that my letter would reach me by tomorrow.. i didn’t think much about it.. but tomorrow came and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.. it was thursday when my mum sent the letter by POSTLAJU.. but i only received it on Tuesday.. which is today..

not to say i don’t want to watch movie with you all.. not to say i’m not worried about my application.. not to say that i don’t care about you.. i’m sorry i’m really sorry.. i rush back to get my letter and went to tes hoping that i can solve my problem quickly..

when i reached there i showed them my rejected letter including my original certificate.. hoping that they can do something fast.. the girl Photostatted both my rejected letter and STPM certificate.. and guess what she say..

“i will try to help you post to ACCA again.. if you are not in time for paper based you may need to take computer based is it ok for you?” do i have a choice?? can i say no?? can i say i don’t want i don’t care i only want paper based.. i can’t.. then what for you ask me such a question?? why it must be me?? some of my friends had their name got wrong.. some email got wrong.. unlike me my application got even rejected.. i was very sad.. very very very sad.. i try to hold my tears and bring it back to my room..

i hate you postlaju!! why you need to take so long just to post my letter?? i hate you sunway why do you take so long to pass me the letter?? why at the 1st time i asked you said no problem just sent the blur certificate 1st?? i hate you ACCA why can’t you just phone Malaysia and ask the education weather i really took STPM or not?? or is it that my results really that bad?? is it God that asking me not to choose this road.. asking me to go UPM for pure chemistry??

i feel like slowing down.. i feel like just stop here and rest.. i feel like just don’t think about anything.. i feel like stop what am i doing now.. i’m sorry i just got no more brave face to put on and continue my road.. i’m very tired.. i’m very very tired.. i got so high marks in my 1st test so what?? does that make me any difference compare to my other friends?? do i get a compliment from sunway?? do i get something in return??

now i just feel like hugging my mum and dad and don’t want to let go.. i just feel like argue with my 2nd brother and end up everybody laughing as we always does.. i feel like playing computer with my eldest brother.. i just feel like doing the things i like.. i shoulder is so heavy.. i need a break.. i want a break.. i’m tired.. very tired..

i’m sorry i got no mood to do any more things today.. i got no mood to make my post colourful.. i may never blog again.. don’t worry everybody.. i won’t do something stupid.. i’m still Thomas.. the guy you all always knew back in form 6 and in classes at Sunway.. hope that i still have the impression cool and friendly in you all.. if i really need to take computer based i may just give up and take it next year.. don’t ask me why.. maybe i really need a break..

I’M SORRY.. I’M WEAK..